I don't deserve this treatment.

‎"When he told me he loved me, I laughed. Not in a mean way, but lightly, warning myself really, more than him, not too take it too seriously. You have to be careful with your feelings, I think. It's a mistake to let them go just because they're summoned."

Capricorn

Capricorn quakes and shakes with the Earth shattering changes Pluto and Uranus deliver to your sign in 2013.  Uranus in your house of the unconscious brings awakenings and realizations which help you to become liberated from past fears and complexes. You ego is being washed away, and Neptune in Pisces helps with this process. Like Scorpio, you are being asked to "Evolve or Dissolve" this year. Surrender and humility are the keys to survival right now for Capricorn. Those December Capricorns have made it through the "dark night of the soul" thanks to Plutonian initiations in the past three years. Now, you will teach others about soul-infused personality. Don't expect outer situations and conditions to fulfill you, you will disappointed and dismayed.  Early January Capricorns have an opportunity to release, regenerate and rebirth themselves on the new earth, and the birthing pangs may be intense. Affirming that you are spirit in matter - "I am a spiritual being having a physical experience" can help you navigate this cycle. The foundations you create now personally and professionally will have staying power into the future, and Saturn through your house of future will help with creating resources. Neptune through Pisces will re-awaken your dreams for a better life, and feed any creative urges. Pluto in your sign transforms and heals your physical body, any health issues that arise now need attention so that deep healing can transpire.  

dissect

1: to separate into pieces :

 

the pieces will never fit back exactly as they did. 

there will be stitches, raised edges, brusing

and permanent scars. 

you have made me this way.

too many of you, too many times.

there is no healing after a certain point. 

a person deserves more than this. 

 

 

I've been kicked around.....

Well i've been kicked around
Whatd'ya see
Am i alright
I'm alright
Well i've been kicked around
Whatd'ya see
Am i alright
I'm alright

I once had a heart
I was ripped from it
Chewed up then spat out
Like a cherry pit

And if i seem a little hard
It's just that i've been kicked around
I don't know how i got this far
The way that i've been kicked around

Well i've been kicked around
Whatd'ya see
Am i alright
I'm alright
Well i've been kicked around
Whatd'ya see
Am i alright
I'm alright

I once had a soul
It was torn from me
I won't cry a tear
I will carry me

And if i seem a little hard
It's just that i've been kicked around
I don't know how i got this far
The way that i've been kicked around

Don't worry
I'm alright

Being unwanted,
unloved,
uncared for, 
forgotten by everybody, 
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty 
than the person who has nothing to eat 

~Mother Theresa

Resolution for the new year

As people don’t seem to like the person I currently am….

Maybe if I turn into a hermit, hiding out, no communication to the outside world, I won’t get hurt so often or so easily.  

Maybe if I hide my emotions, keep my mouth shut, and do not reach out to others, I won’t be pushed down, ignored, tossed aside.  

Maybe if I become resolved to live a lonely life, devoid of friendship, my heart won’t break and ache constantly.  

What do you think?